This has been something that I wanted to address from a long, long time.
Strength gives a person energy to live and get through anything. But strength itself is a really tricky thing. Strength, though gives a visual of a perfectly tall, strong and erect pillar, could have been hollow all along. Its the state of the mind, after all. And thats exactly is the trick. But how can someone see if that’s a trick all along? If we really pretend that we are strong or are we indeed? How can someone test their own strength?
Simple. By seeing how they react while they receive fatal blows. Each react to a blow in a different way.
The First Kind
Some pretend it didn’t hit them at all and they are just fine. They are a dangerous kind. Because, you never know when the bottled up feelings might burst open like a volcano. Damaging them as well as the ones near.
The Second Kind
Some appear down, aware that they have been hit, but not disillusioned. They get up fairly quickly and resume their life. These are the second kind, that are relatively less dangerous than the first but definitely to be watched out for.
The Third Kind
Then there are some who appear very badly hit, they crawl out of their bed to even get a cup of water, or worse, to just breathe or stay alive. They take their own time to come out of their pain and life definitely won’t be easy for them and the people around. These are the ones that everyone should learn a lesson from and try to be.
You might think that I am negating my own words or outright naive. The first kind, who pretend they are strong and don’t react, have to be the strongest of all right? After all, they did no damage and there is no guarantee that they will in future. No and I’m definitely not out of my mind as you may think. Read on, I will tell you why.
You see strength cannot be judged soon after an impact. Strength is an unknown force that kicks in only when ACTUALLY needed. Not when someone THINKS they need. Its like epidural, except that you don’t have a choice to take it in advance as opposed to when your mind and body needs. Anybody can pretend that they are okay, soon after they get hit. But it takes guts to openly admit the pain, or even to admit to oneself. Only when you absorb the pain and embrace the situation, can you draw the strength from within (embracing might be a little too exaggerated from my side but I’m sure you get what I’m saying). And that’s precisely why the third kind are the most stronger ones, ever. Their outer layer of the pillar might look too crude, old, bruised, peeling off here and there but the inner composition lays intact throughout all the hurdles and shivers from beneath the ground.
So what should one do in a moment of distress? Absorb each and every aspect of the situation that’s causing you trouble. Doesn’t matter if you are the source of pain or you are the one taking the blow for/from something/someone else. The first step is always absorbing. You can only do it by staying in the reality and not wandering away. You are in pain and you know what? It will subside. As someone wise said, this too shall pass. And so it will. As much as you hate being in pain, causing pain to others should be no less of a pain to you if your heart is in the right place. After you are done absorbing, the next step is correction. If you are the source of this pain to somebody else, correct it. Take appropriate measures to apologize. If you are the one in pain because of somebody else, if they are close ones to you, confront them and share your feelings with them. Tell them that you deserve an apology. In many cases, you might not see them come back, but that’s okay too. You could directly skip to the last step in that case. But just apologizing or getting apologized won’t be enough to move on, the major factor that attributes in moving on from a situation is DEALING WITH IT in the present.
Ah, I started sounding like a self-help book in the last para. Un-digressing from the topic, you might have already got to know why I love the third kind of people. Lets talk about the first two. Why do you think I said that the first kind are the most dangerous ones? Because, they cause harm later down the lane by screwing up the rest of the phases. When you see quirks of any people, think about what I said. The major source of all quirks and baggages are because of the way we deal with the pain. Sarcasm, offloading on others, throwing attitude, being mean, trust issues, lack of connection are some of the examples of the quirks I was talking about. We all have those, nobody is perfect and we know that already. But isn’t it better if we reduce our ‘quirks list’ rather than add more to it? These quirks later cause problems to others in your life. And the butterfly effect will only continue. That’s why I said these kind are the most dangerous people. Their inability to handle the pain causes more pain to others.
The second kind are no saints, they do appear devastated at first but they trick their minds that they are fine sooner than they are. To speak technically, the initial step of absorbing the pain has happened only partially. They have come out of that phase sooner than required. And the process of ‘adding to the list of quirks’ follows after this.
That’s why I adore, appreciate and respect the third kind. They know what has happened and will slowly learn what to be done to get out of the awful situation that they are in. Always strive to be the third kind. Always and always. Its the most difficult thing to do in such a situation, but you will get back far less damaged version of yours at the end of the tunnel 🙂
That’s how I perceive strength as. Lot simpler than my rant but lot complicated to follow.
How do you perceive?
PS: Welcome to this blog and this is my first post 🙂